Thanks Peter. I am like you with computors so i do not even venture to guess at the problem. Leave that to brighter minds that me. I am not in your league when it comes to raising a family while putting up with CP. I would not have the self control to put up with unruly kids so i can only assume your kids knew when the line was drawn or you have that remarkable ability some have to switch off to irritating situations. I got my marching orders 5 years after my injury because i was a bigger pain than acceptable and i admire her immensley for doing it.
Even though there are many Cpers on there own i think that we try not to have too many vents or meltdowns because we don't want to effect others who are struggling. Yesterday really had nothing to do with computors going down just me at wits end thoroughly annoyed with myself. regards outlast.
hey outlast your not alone with attitude, my outlook is often bleak and I tend to dwell on that fact which in turn doesn't help me. I was brought up in a house where my father (he passed away at 56) suffered kidney stones and he suffered excruciating pain the dr used to come and inject him in the vein with pethidine. My mother always had a headache which we used to roll our eyes at...because if dad was sick mum was always sicker...however they both worked hard and mum dads work ethics were outstanding and set the work ethics I currently have. I suppose that's why I can't comprehend my career is over which in turn I suffer immense guilt that I can't work. I haven't been terminated though the good doc has finally put me unfit for work.
It's a turning corner for me that I'm finding I can't accept yet. Maybe the pain management course might help me! When it finally arrives maybe march at this point of time...
I was married to a man with cp and he never ever worked, he crushed his ankle in a motorbike accident shortly after we got together...we parted ways in 1995....I was alone for 4 years then I went into another relationship with a man who had osteomyelitis ( I think that's how you spell it) he never worked either! And he was very depressed and I always loved life so it was hard for me to understand his depression...He committed suicide in 2007 because he was so depressed....very sad.. Now I'm going on 5 years single again and 4 years of chronic pain though I was always told I was like my dad and so I'm of the attitude I can ride this cp road with a smile on my face and face the future whatever might crop up and bite me on the b@m...
It's one day at a time, I'm over chasing for answers or treatment...like Mary I had the sacroiliac injections 3 lots and I was due to have a neurotomy however I'm not keen because I don't think burning the angry nerves is going to help me! In fact I'm of the opinion that like Mary I could become worse...anyway I'm not sure you saw my other post because we posted at the same time!
I hope your pain settles down soon and you have some quality of life!! It's not too much to hope for.....
I've just been asked to a barbecue from a close friend who never contacts me unless she is going on a holiday and guess what that's exactly what she's planned a 6 month holiday to Bali,Europe and USA...lucky her...I'll try and let my resentments pass and be happy for her...she just asked me "what's exactly wrong with you" wtf!!!! Grrrr....I never even answered that question, I said ok see you at 5ish...hmmmm some friends only contact me when they're happy!!
Hi Eliza. Maybe its different for women or men or just different in individuals. I know you understand Fee feeling guilty about the effects of her TMJ with her husband. And you also say you need emotional support the most these days at a personal level as well as of course in this Forum. But this wanting someone is a concept that i just can't do when i have a chronic problem. I stress here that i am in no way saying i am right or judging anyone else. Just saying for me the side effects of CP with moods,depression, agitation and the pain itself precludes me from imposing that on someone else. Would i leave a wife or long term girlfriend if she were in CP. Never. But i sure understand if she were to do that to me. I just get too consumed with guilt at my short comings to have them effect another human being on a daily basis. So where does that leave some of us. Emotionally disorientated that's what.
F.W.B he says in best Benny Hill style. Been there. done that . too murky and ends up bad. Might be an option though.
Eliza. Go to Bali. Spoil yourself because you really deserve it. You have travelled on your own before so you know the pitfalls that can arise. But look upon this as an "awareness of personal limitation " trip. You will at least know how best to pepare for your next trip or in fact not have one again if you feel the joy didn't outweigh the money spent. Would you be able to stop at the place you liked so much last time?
Avanza. I don't know your sleep pattern but Avanza would knock you around if you are a short sleeper or can't at least lie around in semi snooze for a few hours. If you haven't tried it for at least 2 weeks you can't judge the effect on your daily tiredness or apathy anyway. But don't leave depression unchallenged if you drop that far. And if nothing else Avanza will kick in much quicker than the other types.
Families and money Eliza. My mother died long ago. When my father died a decade ago 2 of my brothers got him to a solicitor (he was in his eighties) and stitched up the Will. Result 2 of us got zero. Other two got house,money etc. And they live without conscience very easily. I asked the eldest why did you do that. And he said because i took clean pyjamas to the hospital when he was sick and you didn't. I was not a great son but he was not a great father either but really would you do such a thing. Go figure.
Eliza i don't know what's to become of your legs and feet and pain and throbbing. I have or had a lady friend who would say "i wish i had a magic wand to get rid of your problems. I am so sorry for you." Well Eliza that's probably not going to happen for you but only you know if you have exhausted all medical avenues by now. You probably have. I want to say something really uplifting and supportive but life is harsh and unfair and we don't always get what we want.
I am off to buy Streets Triple Whirl chocolate icecream in a 2L container. If the world won't spoil me a bit then i will. Hugs to you Eliza.
I have been asked that question and it does get under your skin. However, try and see it from the other side. We lot with our mix of rotten symptoms and heaps of meds sure must come across in a funny way at times! I just tell people that my central nervous system is over sensitized and that it causes a lot of not so nice symptoms, including pain every day. Then I change the subject because there is nothing worse than being out somewhere and talking about "the pain"
Go to the BBQ even if you can't stay too long. It will help to balance out your negative and positive inputs and you won't have to worry about dinner either. My GP says that if the negative input outweighs the positive, your pain levels are likely to be higher.
Anything you can do to pamper yourself or make yourself comfortable via relaxation, meditation or watching a movie will be positive. Social contact is very positive for me. I began with telling people that I wouldn't be able to stay too long and I often stayed much longer because I was enjoying myself. I still try not to overdo things by staying too long, but most times now, I leave a social event at about the same time I would have before CP. However, I have had years of practice and we have never been really late stayers LOL.
Enjoy the BBQ.
Not every day is a good day, but there is good in every day.
"“It’s delightful when your imaginations come true, isn’t it?” ― L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables
Yes Eliza. We did post at the same time. Enjoy your night out. Keep the envy down as much as possible re her trips overseas. You are well and truly overdue for some happiness even if that is a short trip to bali.
I like what mary's doc says. " If the negative outweighs the positive your pain levels are likely to be higher." I think that should be applied to most things in life. Pain. Work. Relationships.
grappers replied the topic: When a LifeLine Fails.
Outlast for a long time you have battled with CP and when you think nothing could get worse the old ticker decides to give you a scare, it leaves you wondering what have you done wrong in life, if you did not have enough to worry about it feels like another nail in the coffin.
Being depressed and then this on top, you were bound to have a meltdown, I know I sure did, so never feel guilty about coming here and venting your anger and frustration.
I am on vasocardol 180mg to control artery spasms, if I was not taking these I would have the same problem 24/7 and the crushing pain associated is just as bad as a full blown heart attack, so I know how you feel.
Eliza if you have the chance to get out do it, I have the same technique as Mary commit to go but explain that I might not stay that long, and before you know it time has flown and you have stayed longer than you thought you would have, don't get caught in the trap of trying to explain yourself, you are out to have a good time, if anyone asks just reply now is not the right time.