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can't think of a heading but please read this

  • titan55
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5 years 1 month ago #12681 by titan55
titan55 created the topic: can't think of a heading but please read this
hi guys.i was keeping in touch with a lady in sweden who suffers some of my health issues and i sent her some photos of my place and my family.she sent back some pictures of her town she lives in.she asked me if i could send some pictures of where i live on the gold coast.that was the problem.i don't have any.at this stage i realized how much my chronic pain has impacted on my life.the only photos i had was at family functions and my home.it really shocked me when i thought that i don't go out anywhere these days besides the shops.what is worse is i stopped a while ago taking my kids out to places.i have impacted on their lives so much too and my hubbies life.i felt really bad telling this lady i had no pictures to send her.what has my life come too?i don't go on long drives in the car due to bad travel sickness and needing to pee all the time with my bladder disease.also,i don't go anywhere much due to constant bad headaches and allergy pain.is this an excuse to give up on so much in life?i feel safe at home.that is it in a nutshell. :sick:

chronic migraines and headaches for over 25 years.
intercystitial cystitis.
chronic facial pain due to allergies
irratable bowel syndrome
chronic upper tummy pain
fibromyalgia
depression

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5 years 1 month ago #12682 by grappers
grappers replied the topic: can't think of a heading but please read this
Titan55 sometimes you just have to make an effort to get out, and once out in the fresh air and enjoying it the pain subsides, it becomes a real problem when on good days you are not making an effort to get out, this leads to feeling isolated bored and depressed, which in turn leads to higher pain levels. If going out with the family even down to the local park gets you out, just make sure there are public toilets near by, it will mean a bit more forward planning to make sure you are not far from the nearest toilet. I nice quiet stroll around the block is a good start.

Big hugs
Don

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5 years 1 month ago #12683 by BIY
BIY replied the topic: can't think of a heading but please read this
Sending you hugs Titan.

I can relate to so much of what you have written. I hope the pain clinic gets their act together soon so you can get into the pain psychologist to help you work through this and set some activity goals. They can be really tiny baby steps and building up slowly.

Hugs,
Fee
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5 years 1 month ago #12684 by Outlast
Outlast replied the topic: can't think of a heading but please read this
Hi Titan.
I think most of us feel safe at home especially with flareups and emotions are low. I had a doctor say he thought i was agoraphopic because i was home so much. Think there is some truth in that. You have to force yourself to make the effort and i find it usually results in a positive feeling. As long as i go to parks or bush walks and not around a lot of people. Its a real trap not to go out because you are selling your life short. Preparation is the key i think. In your case with the headaches you have to take something in advance so they have kicked in. I have bad eyes and used to get car sick very bad if i didn't do the driving. Bit of a lottery for the other drivers though! I found eating ginger snap biscuits or sometimes an apple was enough to chirp up. What about car sickness pills? I don't know how often you have to pee but when i had a prostate operation it was like every 10 minutes for weeks. So i would just keep the bladder pretty empty and the journey short. Not a good practice to keep bladders empty as a habit but occasionaly wouldn't matter.

The thing i remember about kids, well young kids, is they don't hold a grudge and seem to forget about being let down as soon as something good comes along to replace that feeling. I wish adults were like that. I don't know how old your kids are Titan but i do know that up to a certain age a beach or a park with a ball seems okay for them. What you are NOT saying is that you feel guilty more than anything because you feel you are letting them down. I still carry guilt about the five years of misery i put 3 young boys through and i never had the chance to rectify it. You do. And i admire you for what you went through last year but i am going to be harsh. You don't get a second chance with your kids so bite the bullett and give them happy family memories of being outdoors. Normally we compromise with CP but in this case you have to rise above it. they deserve it and you will probably get a surprise and enjoy it too. And when did we all get so precious that you can't pee behind a bush or a car door. You feel you want to give up on a lot of things in life . Fine. Just not your kids memories. Sorry about the tone but it is a sore point with me.
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5 years 1 month ago #12686 by Peter
Peter replied the topic: can't think of a heading but please read this
Hey Titan,

Reality has bitten you again huh. Yeah, does it to me on a regular basis too. Heck, I live in a small town and have been here since 2000, but still have not been to the museum, which they reckon is well worth a look. There is much I want to do and wish I could do. But unfortunately, we often don't have much of a choice.

Then along comes something that points out to us what we have been missing out on and we feel really bad about it. I often get the same deflated depressed feelings you are describing, but I can't let it get to me.
We just have to keep plugging on living our lives.

Like Don says, plan ahead, but make yourself go somewhere to get out of the house. Every step forward, is never a negative or backward step. Regardless of what happens, there are positives there that would have never occurred if you had stayed home and not done a thing.

Don't be too down on yourself. It's hard and we all know it and we all empathise with you. So, just accept it, Again, then move on with your life. That's all you can do!


Peter

I wish the ring (this Chronic Pain) had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened. (Frodo Baggins)

So do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide, is what to do with the time that is given to us. (Gandalf the Grey)
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5 years 1 month ago #12694 by Outlast
Outlast replied the topic: can't think of a heading but please read this
Peter . I am glad you are around to soften the rough edges that sometimes happen. You are like a calm breeze to a tormented sailor.
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