Don, that's a great story, especially for both of you, because you are now most definitely on the same page with regard the understanding of the effects of chronic pain and drug side-effects.
I think this is very much a case of the shoe on the other foot, but like I try to explain to my kids, which they hate hearing, is that we only ever hear what we want to hear.
Every single one of us has a filter over our ears and our eyes. Because of who we are and what we have experienced, we only seem to hear certain things and not others, especially if we have not experienced it and can't see how it can be true.
But doesn't the penny drop once we have had first hand experience on a particular issue and after the AHA moment comes and goes, then comes the face palm moment where we feel a bit embarrassed or we feel like we have been a jerk. Not saying your wife is that at all. Just talking in general.
I am so pleased for you that your wife now understands, but it's a shame she has to suffer to get that understanding. Now, when others mention things like this, she will be able to imagine that it can actually be true and will be able to believe more readily.
I use to be that way when I was young. Actually, I think in my late teens I was a bit of a smart A..... Although I was suffering a lot of back pain, I was very strong and very fit. And i was doing all sorts of things and working a very hard and heavy job. So, like a lot of idiot narcissistic teenagers, I thought that if I could do it, then so could others. Ha!
Little did I know that I could be so easily stripped of that power and strength and turned into an overweight weakling who has trouble getting out of his own way. I used my own filters back then. I only heard what I wanted to hear and now that I fully understand, I am embarrassed to think of what a Jerk I was back in those younger days.
Thank heavens for maturity and experience aye!!
I wish the ring (this Chronic Pain) had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened. (Frodo Baggins)
So do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide, is what to do with the time that is given to us. (Gandalf the Grey)
What a beautiful thing to acknowledge by your wife Don. She has always come across as very empathetic in your posts prior to this, so what a lucky man you are!
At the same time, I am sorry she is now suffering to this extent. Loving kids and then having the intolerances to their noise is hard to accept and is a nasty side effect of the combination of pain and drugs in my opinion.
We as humans are funny things that we truly don't or can't understand so many things in life til we personally experience it oursleves.
I had my mother on the phone this morning asking me if my pain is really that bad, or am I making myself think it is ???
I told her that it was and that I hadn't been limping for 11 months just for the hell of it, and then got off the phone and cried.
So Sorry to hear about your wife's back pain and gee thanks for sharing your personal story. Since I've been on pain killers I seem to have some sort of sensitivity to certain smells and the biggie, noise...hmm I can't stand being in a noisy restaurant or anybody talking loudly! I also have these flu like symptoms and my gp thinks it's from the Lyrica.
Understanding is what most people lack towards us cp'ers, they just form an opinion and spread gossip. It's a small world and sometimes those opinions come back to you unfortunately,like in my case I was very upset, however I'm too chronically fatigued and i'm not responsible for what other people say about me. I now know who cares and who doesn't care and those that don't care don't matter.
I just love reading the stories that you have put on the forum about you and your wife's journey together.