Well said, well said. Yes that is where I am these days. This is my lot and I need to just deal. If I were to take painkillers to actually kill all the pain, I'd be dead. I take what Takes the top 15-20% off. The rest I deal with, via the many coping mechanisims and techniques I have learned over the years.
My doctor said my pain is ‘all in my head’ last week. Bloody hell! I don’t know how anyone could say this to anyone! I’ve been seeing him since I was a child. He has done pretty much everything I have asked him to do since my pain started; referred me to a neurologist, pain specialist, sent me for MRI scans, etc. However, nothing has come up that can properly diagnose my pain. I have some bulging discs but I have been told these shouldn’t be causing pain. So when I asked my GP to refer me to a rheumatologist, he wouldn’t and that’s when he said my pain is all in my head. I get severe back pain when I sit down and bend my spine in any way. I get leg pain, pains in my ankles, odd sensations in my legs. To press on areas in my buttocks, it’s tender and painful. I just don’t know what is causing it. I’ve had these pains for 9 months now and I think I’m going to have them for the rest of my life. That thought is terrifying and depressing. I suffered anxiety before all of this happened; for no good reason I would get anxious. Now my anxiety is through the roof! I can’t go camping or 4WDing with my partner because of my back, I’m going to miss out on quality time with him and my kids. That’s just the tip of the iceberg, there is so much I can’t do. I feel like I can’t work, I have no idea what I would do. I just want to give up but my kids keep me going. My mind is weak. I wish I could be stronger. I’m so depressed; I don’t look forward to things, I don’t have fun, I don’t laugh, I don’t joke. I used to be different, I feel depression has changed my personality so much. I cry a lot. I tried a ketamine infusion but that didn’t help. I’m on 150mg Lyrica at night, 75mg in the morning and also Targin 5mg twice a day but I still feel a lot of pain. I almost want to wean myself off them and see if they even do anything at all. I will have to talk to my GP about this. I just needed to vent. I just don’t know how much of this I can take.
I'm going to see my kids walk down the isle one day.
Sorry to hear you are going through this. Unfortunately, most of us have gone through this sort of thing, so there are some things we can do. Tell you what, send me an email and give me a bit more detail as to where you are, because I might be able to point you in the general direction of some other specialists. Can't promise anything, because we don't really have a clinical services directory. We do have some health professionals we work with though.
I wish the ring (this Chronic Pain) had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened. (Frodo Baggins)
So do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide, is what to do with the time that is given to us. (Gandalf the Grey)