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Venting

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5 years 3 months ago #16028 by Johnno
Johnno replied the topic: Venting
Illeatyou ,

Some times I think that nobody would miss me when I'm gone
It is,so,easy to do but I try not to but I have been tempted I just wonder will it hurt or will I not feel anything and just go
It would stop the pain

Johnno

as long as I wake up alive I'm happy
Because it could be worse

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5 years 3 months ago #16030 by grappers
grappers replied the topic: Venting
Johhno most of us have felt the same at one point in our CP journey, and I did more than just think about it, and then I was reminded of all the people that would be left behind and feeling lost and living with the pain my actions caused. So spare a thought for those you would leave behind, it is hard at the moment, in time is does get a lot easier and once you get all this WC B******t out of the way a lot of the stress and anxiety will lift.

Don
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5 years 3 months ago #16032 by Johnno
Johnno replied the topic: Venting
Thank you I know but you know sometimes you just want to jump drown or go away .if aliens came I would go away with them just leave all this crap behind .
I know there are people who would miss me but it,still doesn't want you willing to try to stop the pain.
Lots of other have more difficulties than me so I am going to,stop venting
Johnno

as long as I wake up alive I'm happy
Because it could be worse

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5 years 3 months ago #16038 by illeatyu
illeatyu replied the topic: Venting
Johnno

Mate I have been there and I almost went the whole hog, it was just that my kids were home and I heard them and didn't want them to be the one's to find me.

I went to see my GP, a new one cause the old one told me to harden up and stop being a girl, the new one put me on some meds and sent me to a shrink, I was almost hospitalised I was that bad, but it gets better, I am so thankful now that I didn't.

Now I still struggle some days to get out of bed and believe me some day's really suck, but my kids notice when I am down and give me hugs and kisses, and it helps.

My marriage nearly ended because of the depression and my wife and I are slowly getting our life sorted, but I won't lie its bloody hard work, but its worth it.

One of my dear friends lost the fight and took his one life and I have seen first hand what that did to his wife and kids, and have felt what it did to me, I miss him every day and wonder what I could have done to help him.



That link is to a song called Why by rascal flats, it sums up how I felt when he died.

I don't know of anyone who is so despised that no one would miss them when they are gone, hell id miss you for a start, if you want to talk let me know and ill give you my contact details, I also have numbers for help lines that have trained counsellors that can help you get things back on track.

And please don't stop venting, it lets the rest of us know that we are not the only one's who have bad day's.

Illeatyu

“All the elements in your body were forged many, many millions of years ago, in the heart of a far away star that exploded and died. That explosion scattered those elements across the desolations of deep space. And came together to form you, you are unique in the universe.
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5 years 3 months ago #16040 by grappers
grappers replied the topic: Venting
When I first joined this forum a couple of years ago, I was in the same dark place, and by talking about how I felt and what was going on to members here made that struggle a lot easier, no one should feel alone with these feelings, I can guarantee you just about every one has struggled at one point or another with the big dark pit you now find yourself in.
There are help lines you can call when you are not coping, they are there to help you so don't be afraid of picking up the phone, they don't judge you or put you down, they listen and give you helpful advice. Keep the communication channels open and what ever you do don't bottle it all up in side, if you want to vent then vent, getting it of your chest lifts the dark cloud a little and you will always get support from this site.

Don
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5 years 3 months ago #16059 by Retread
Retread replied the topic: Venting
Hi Johnno,

I feel your pain, like most of us - I have been there as well. When you are at your worst it is easy to think that nobody will miss you, but believe me we can be a little short sighted in our darkest period.
People can be caught up in their own day to day existence, and their own very real problems, to the point that you may feel isolated from them, and being physically isolated yourself sure doesn't help. But you are a very important part of of your circle of friends and acquaintances, and indeed this group.
It is hard go through what you are enduring, and without Don's advice on "Venting" I think would have gone crazy - PLEASE VENT !
I didn't have to struggle with WC, I had to deal with the military system, and the department of Veterans Affairs, and believe me they are a "Law unto Themselves", they leave you way out in the cold, and I believe it is their aim to send you over the "Edge", as happened to several of my mates. Every time I phoned them, I was met by a voice that said - "What name your doctor are? How yo spel that? Velly good will get back to you". I felt I was still in the bush, and it nearly pushed me over.

If they can get you to the point where you take yourself out, it is a win for them. So I decided not to give in and eventually got some of the help I needed. Don't let the buggers win mate.
As has already been suggested, speak to you doctor about this, pain can certainly screw with your brain, and the chemistry gets out of sync, a short course of meds will probably help there as well.
My thoughts are with you Johnno, you are a precious individual, maybe a little further down the track, all of the us should get together for a reunion, and look back on this period of our lives.

All the Best

Gordon
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